November 10, 2010
I’ve finally made the connection. In the Allman Brothers classic tune “Rambling Man,” they quote, “Lord, I was born a rambling man.” Therefore, the Allman Brothers must all be sports announcers.
It doesn’t matter what day of the week, what sport is playing or who is playing the sport, there is always this constant yakking coming out of my TV speakers.
I am not sure why, but these people feel compelled to state the obvious, and they get paid to do it. Just like everyone else in the sports industry, they probably make close to 63 million dollars a year (slight exaggeration).
Since basketball season is now underway, let’s use it as an example: “So-and-So has the ball…So-and-so passes it to Whats-his-Face…Whats-his-Face shoots!...Oh! And the ball just bounces off the rim…
They really needed that basket, Tom.” Oh really? I couldn’t tell by the scoreboard that they were losing. I have to ask, is this necessary?
I am watching all of this happen right in front of my face, I don’t need an announcer’s useless commentary…seriously. John Madden was the worst. He could state the obvious like nobody’s business.
Chris Berman on ESPN, however, sounds like he is on a different happy drug every week. I simply cannot explain the crazy noises that come out of that man’s mouth.
I can understand the need for announcers on radio or on sports coverage shows such as ESPN’s Sportscenter; it is the announcer at the actual game that annoys me.
In fact, there is nothing more annoying than when some random guy on the screen completes this incredible play, and the announcers automatically make him the greatest player to grace the history of the sport ever – whereas, the same player was just another player sitting on the bench not five minutes earlier.
Take my previous example for instance. Imagine that Whats-his-Face made the basket driving around two defenders in the process, and drew a foul, meaning that he is given an additional free-throw.
Well, that basket he just made actually tied the game and if Whats-his-Face manages to make the free throw, his team will win the game. Follow me? Well guess what, he made it.
Just like that, announcers everywhere will praise the very ground Mr. Whats-his-Face stands on, even though he only played the last two minutes of the game and those were the first points he has scored all season long.
This formula never fails and annoys the ever-living fire out of me. A team can be down by 40 some odd points and another guy can make this miraculous one-handed catch for a touchdown, and it’s the same story.
Sure it was a good play, but there are so many others that are busting their butts to secure a victory to just focus on one individual’s luck.
Now, I know that some people like having the announcers there because, bless your heart, without them you would be completely and utterly lost. It’s understandable.
In some cases having an announcer might (ever so slightly) be helpful. I still feel as if all the information that an announcer is actually needed for can already be found on the screen somehow.
Am I passionate about this? Surprisingly, the answer is no. I’m still going to watch football on the weekend regardless of who is announcing and what college he thinks should be ranked number one.
Would I vote to fire all announcers and replace them with up-to-date alternative rock music? Yes.
